Hi, I'm Hrimalf, I'm a Heathen, and at the moment I'm 15. I've been a Pagan since I was 11, and my parents have just about accepted it now. But I know other young Pagans who have real problems with their parents, and I must admit, mine were alarmed at a few things about Paganism, and later Heathenism, until I persuaded them to talk to some adult Pagan friends of mine. And that's another problem many under 18's face. A lot of older Pagans seem to stereotype teenagers, usually because they don't know any, and think teenage Paganism is a "phase". Some conference organisers ban under 18's from events, and some organisations require you to be an adult to join. As far as I can see, the only way around Pagans with this attitude is to write letters to the organisations, and hope they change their policies, and meanwhile, get involved with some sensible Heathens who don't care what age you are. But how do you live with parents who might not accept your beliefs? Do you tell them at all? I'm going to discuss some common problems young Heathens face, but most of them apply to young Pagans of different paths.
Do I tell my parents about my religion?
Unless your parents are really strong Christians, or tend to be bigoted about practically everything, I'd tell them. It's awful having to hide something that means a lot to you, and you don't want to be in a situation where you have to lie all the time to cover up past lies, and you're in constant danger of "being found out", it must be really stressful. If you really don't think your parents will accept it, think carefully about how deeply you want to get involved, for example, do you have anywhere to hide your books, magazines, etc.? If they are supportive, it will be a big advantage when you want to meet other Heathens. If you're planning to move away soon, could you wait until then? It might be a lot easier. There's also nothing to stop you worshipping the Old Gods on your own, by walking in the countryside (a fairly "harmless" activity) and making up your own rituals, etc.
How do I explain Heathenism?
Tell them what it means to you. Try mentioning that Heathens care about the environment, and worship the "ancient Scandinavian and Germanic gods and goddesses", rather than "Viking". Tell them a few names, and perhaps a description of your favourite deity. I wouldn't lie, or dilute your beliefs, but do try to be tactful. For example, say Freyja is the goddess of love, not sex - after all, both are true, but your parents might prefer the former description. Be prepared to have to answer some difficult questions, and have ready answers. (See below)
My parents don't like some of my Heathen friends!
First of all ask them what it is about your friend that they object to. After all, they may have spotted something you haven't, and although nobody likes to admit it, there are some Heathens who are a bit weird, or worse, and if your friend is dodgy, you'll want to know about it. But most likely, your parents will be worrying about nothing, and simply don't get on with your friend. They may reconsider their views if you try to explain that underneath all thesuperficial bits that your parents object to, such as their dress sense, favourite deity, etc., your friend is a decent human being. Try to reach some sort of agreement you're both happy with, for example you can still see your mates, but only with a trustworthy adult / they don't come near your parents.
What if my parents think Heathens worship the devil?
Obviously, many people will just need to be reassured that Heathens have their own deities, not the devil, and they will be quite happy to accept your explanations. However, some parents, especially if they were brought up as strong Christians, may have the idea fixed in their minds so firmly that they will tell themselves that you are deceiving yourself. It can be very difficult to convince someone like this because they will probably distort whatever evidence you provide to reassure themselves that they are right. However, there are a few things you can try. If you know someone who is sympathetic to Paganism, or who is generally tolerant of alternative religions, and your parent also knows and trusts them, you could try telling them about Heathenism and ask them to have a word. Or if one of your parents is supportive, but you're having problems with the other, you could try sitting down with both of them and discussing the issue, and hope that the supportive parent helps you.
I've found that the best way to convince people about something is to properly research it beforehand. If you appear to know your subject, you will give the right impression. I think that the main argument against heathens worshipping the Devil is that when Christian kings in Heathen countries, like Olaf Tryggvason, Alfred and Canute wanted to convert their people to Christianity, they saw that by far the easiest way was to denounce the older gods and goddesses as devils, and make up stories to prove that worshipping these "devils" led to Hell. The devil is therefore a Christian concept and nothing to do with the original, pre-Christian religion of Northern Europe.
What if my parents think that Heathenism and Fascism are identical?
All the stuff in the first paragraph of the last section applies here too. As for information, this is a much trickier area than worshipping the devil because to be honest, there are Fascists in every religion and Heathenism is no exception. Of course, this doesn't mean that the myth above is right, because just as you shouldn't expect, say, all Muslims to be fundamentalists, not all Heathens are Fascists. What I mean is that there's a sick fringe on all religions, and yes, we do have to be careful to avoid Fascist groups masquerading under a Heathen banner, but that's all they are - a sick fringe. The 99% of Heathens I've met are fine, and the main area that seems to produce problems is not actual Heathen individuals who are Fascist, it's Fascist groups misusing Heathen terminology in conjunction with their politics.
Unfortunately, when this particular topic is brought up, many people abandon their common sense and get a bit paranoid. I have actually been asked "But, isn't Hitler the founder of Odinism!" Well, that's obviously wrong, but unfortunately there is historical evidence to suggest that the Nazi's misused the runes. However, Hitler also said "It seems to me that nothing would be more foolish than to re-establish the worship of Wotan." Hitler also closed down most of the runic study groups in Germany and among the people he labeled as "political" problems were any Heathens who might have spoken against his misuse of the runes and swastika. In ancient Heathenism, race wasn't terribly important, although the tribe and individual ancestry were. The Scandinavians living in the far north were quite friendly with the Lapps, who are a Finno-Ugric people, but the Vikings didn't get on with the Greenlanders, who are also Finno-Ugric, and nobody seemed to make a racial connection between the two.
Hrimalf